Condolences

I can do sympathy, but condolences has always been something hard for me. I have never known what I am supposed to say to someone after they have lost a loved one. I think I always came up short in this area. I'm sure most of that was because I had never lost a family member since I have been an adult, until now.
Now I finally get the other end of condolences. I have realized that all that I would say before was not good enough or too much. For I have heard some odd and awkward things, and found that the ones I feel most comforted in are the ones that have been there, they know. After having a conversation with a friend of ours that has had a miscarriage and given birth at 20 weeks to a still born, I finally could truly say to her, I'm sorry you had to go through this. As a couple months ago I had no words I could say, nothing I felt was good enough, so in turn I said nothing.
I have received very pretty flowers, including a mini poinsettia that sits on my desk at work that I just love looking at during the day, but yesterday I received the most amazing and touching gift. Our friends Matt and Karen sent us this card:

They honored our little one with a tree planted in Washington. How amazing is that? I have never heard of this before. Dennis and I were just blown away with the thoughtfulness and true love that was given to us. We will frame it to always remember our little one who couldn't stay.
So what I have decided, if you don't know what to say, simply say I'm sorry or we are praying for you, those have been the most comforting to us. That you could fill your prayers and thoughts with us, that is heartfelt.
Thank you to everyone for your gracious words, even the funny ones, it made us laugh through a tough time :)