Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Journaling

Within hours of taking my pregnancy test, I was wanting to go to the store and buy a baby journal. Not quite sure why, but I knew I wanted to start journalling. But I didn't want to just do it as a blog, I wanted to write to our child. Hoping  that one day I can pass it on to him or her and it would mean something. So I got one, and I have only written in it a few times, but it makes everything a little more real and exciting. Of course I will still blog what I'm journalling, but my entries will be written to our little one. :) I'm also filling out a weekly questionnaire thing I have put in the book, so I will include that too.
So here is what I have so far:

Sunday, April 29th, 2012

Dear Baby G,
Today is the day we found out you were a reality. Mommy and Daddy have been trying and praying for you for months. Before you we did have another pregnancy, but lot that one. It wasn't that babies time, he went to be with our Lord. We continue to pray that you will be able to stay with us and we can hold you in our arms.
Yesterday morning when I went to walk Burton (he will be your biggest fan and companion), I got a little nauseous and the thought crept up... maybe?.. just maybe? After I took the test this morning and saw the pregnant symbol, I just smiled then told your daddy. He knew by the smile on my face what it meant.
I knew after losing our first, that Daddy and I were ready to be parents. Sometimes you have to lose something to really know how much you want it.
When I dropped off daddy at church for the parking team, he leaned over and gave me a kiss said goodbye then rubbed my belly and said goodbye to you too. Brought tears to my eyes.

Date: 5.2.12
This week, baby is the size of a: Poppy Seed
How far along? 4 Weeks, 2 Days
Due Date: January 7th
Total weight gain/loss: 0
Maternity clothes: Not yet  (thank goodness)
Stretch marks? No
Sleep: Very tired
Best moment this week: Watching Hollie cry when I told her
Have you told family and friends: Hollie, Marty and Heidi at work
Movement: Nope
Food cravings: not yet, but still using it as an excuse
Symptoms: Very tired and sensitivity
Have you started to show yet: No
Gender prediction: both? :)
Baby name: Not Yet
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy
Weekly wisdom: Stay positive and friendly at blood draws :)
What I miss: Nothing yet
What I am looking forward to: Hearing everything is okay
Milestones: 1 blood draw down: 305 hcg- higher then last time!

Monday, May 14th, 2012
Today is your last day of week 5. It also marks the first day you gave mommy her first round of morning sickness. Woke up in middle of night to take my prenatal and within 1 1/2 hours I was hugging the toilet throwing it back up. My exhaustion has gotten quite noticeable, I could probably sleep all day. I get dizzy and borderline nausea all day. :\ But I'm just happy I have symptoms, it is a little clue that you are growing! After a long weekend we moved in to your new home. We need some work to make it safe for you on the outside, but soon enough it will be cozy for you on the inside!
Daddy and I finally spread the word about our growing peanut to our family this weekend. Your grandmothers teared up and your Aunties and Uncles are very excited! We have told mostly all of our close friends. At least the ones we have seen in person. It is very exciting to hear all the congratulations.
Today we go in for our first doctor appointment to meet the mid-wife team that will help bring you in to this world. Soon we will get an ultrasound to see you on camera. Can't wait!

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012
Yesterday was an amazing day. Daddy and I headed off to our ultrasound appointment and right away we were able to see this flicker of light on this little mass in my uterus. Come to find out, it was your heartbeat we got to see! How incredible is that? I knew what to look for, but it took daddy a little longer to find the blinking light. When he saw it a smile came across his face. We knew at that moment, you were real and alive! Glorious! We got to take home a little picture of you tucked away in your home (my womb).
Daddy promptly tried to get a good picture of it to be able to text it to your grandpa to announce you. I paused and thank our Lord for giving us such an amazing gift of life. Today daddy was so excited about you he showed everyone your new picture, that warms my heart! Today was also the third morning that the raising hormones have made me sick and vomit :( I feel quizy most of the morning and then exhaustion sets in. My body is working as hard as someones body that is running a marathon! Wow that is hard!

Date: 5.17.12
This week, baby is the size of a: Small pea
How far along? 6 Weeks, 3 Days
Due Date: January 8th
Total weight gain/loss: -1 (too much diarrhea and vomiting!) 
Maternity clothes: The would be comfortable, but no
Stretch marks? Not yet
Sleep: Lots of dreams- but I could sleep all day
Best moment this week: Seeing the heartbeat
Have you told family and friends: Almost everyone
Movement: Nope
Food cravings: Burgers and greasy food (probably just cause it is easy)
Symptoms: Nausea, sensitivity, vomiting, fatigue, moody
Have you started to show yet: No,  I wish I could blame my chub on it 
Gender prediction: both? haha I wish
Baby name: We will see (but daddy calls you a crumb cruncher)
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy 50% and Moody 50%
Weekly wisdom: Eat small meals all day
What I miss: Not feeling sick all day long
What I am looking forward to: 2nd Trimester
Milestones: 1 blood draw down: Ultrasound- heartbeat!

Friday, May 18, 2012

Growing Griffins

We will make it official.... Dennis and I are expecting! I hear all the time that we shouldn't be telling people yet, but honestly its a little to exciting to keep in, and if anything happens I would rather have a support system, than have to tell everyone after and expect them to be there for me. I'm only announcing it on my blog for now, waiting a little longer for the world of FB! If you read my blog, then you get to hear the news first! :)
So let me fill you in! Almost 3 weeks ago I saw this:


I got very excited, but very nervous at the same time! We prayed and prayed that this time would be different. The next day I went in to get my HCG levels checked and then again 48 hours later, and they doubled! That is exactly what they were supposed to be doing. So then we figured it was good to at least tell people. We slowly started telling friends when we saw them, hearing all the congratulations was amazing! Finally got to tell our moms on Mothers Day :)
2 weeks later  (fast forward to this week) we went in for our first appointment. I already knew things were different this time, I woke up Monday morning and threw up for the first time, and I wish I could say last time, but nope, every morning since then! Our midwife said that because of our Ectopic past we can go in for an urgent ultrasound (typically you wouldn't get your first ultrasound til around 8 weeks, I was only at 6 weeks). I jumped at the chance to see if little peanut was in the right place!
Tuesday afternoon Dennis and I rushed down for our ultrasound appointment, as I had a few with the last one, the ultrasound wasn't so new, but the possibility of actually seeing something this time was exciting! It didn't take the tech long before she stopped on my uterus and for the first time it wasn't empty! I could see something at the top, by the not concerned look on her face, I figured that was a good sign. Then she moved to a little better view and I could see the flickering light! I knew what that meant, tears started rolling down my face as I asked, is that the heartbeat? She said yes, it is beating very strong and looks very healthy! It took Dennis a little longer to figure out what we were looking at, but when he did, I saw a smile come over his face that just warmed my heart!

When the tech asked if we wanted a picture printed out, I couldn't even open my mouth before Dennis jumped up and yes, of course we do! So here is the picture of our little peanut (although Dennis calls him our Crumb Cruncher!). The big black dead space is my uterus, and the round circle in the upper part is the babies sack (what feeds him before the placenta is formed), attached to the sack is this little rice looking thing, that is our baby!!!!
I know that things are different then last time, I know that at least our little one made it in the right place, but I'm still trying to shove out the negative thoughts that something can still go wrong. But of course it can at anytime with anyone. I will just try and enjoy what I can.
Talking about enjoying it.... I thought when I got pregnant it would be this wonderful miracle. It is a miracle, but its not as amazing yet as I had imagined. I remember after we lost our first, the thought of a pregnant woman complaining saddened me. I always thought if only I was pregnant, I would take all those bad things and just be happy. I'm happy please don't get me wrong, but I'm having a hard time. Every symptom I could get, I am getting. TMI-  my nipples are extremely sensitive, just the thought of a touch makes them ache in pain. Exhaustion has set in so deep I find myself dosing off at work. If that wasn't bad enough, every morning I wake up, I have diarrhea and vomit before I can even let the dog out. About 75% of the rest of the day I am on the verge of puking, lots of dry heaving and headaches. Very bloated, gassy, and feeling stretching in my tummy. But I'm loving it. Because I know with every horrible symptom its just a little reminder of the reality that I have a little one growing inside my belly.
Please continue to pray for our Growing Griffin. He is estimated to arrive on or around January 9th (the doctor just changed our due date). 

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Cake Decorating Class

My friend Hollie and I decided to do something fun, and different. So we signed up for Cake Decorating Classes at JoAnn Fabrics. Since my mom works there, we got a killer deal. Buy one class get another free, then 20% off the class we paid for! Sweet! But didn't take in to account all the stuff you need for the classes, wow that adds up! We finished our Wilton Basics and next week start our Gum Past and Fondant course.
I was not a master at this class, I need some practice for sure! But I really enjoyed myself, and know I will use my skills for later!


 For our first class we brought in cookies and learned basic skills of how to make icing, how to fill your bags and what the different tips do. Here is my Cookie Bear!


Second class we brought in cakes and learned how to layer the cake and fill it, frost them and learned more about tips and pressure and decorating. Mine is the cupcake, and Hollie did the fish, isn't it so cute!


I brought my cupcake/cake to work and everyone loved it. Hollie and I made confetti cake with Bavarian cream filling!


Third class we brought in cupcakes and got to learn about making flowers and more decorating. This was probably my favorite class, you can make so many different designs. (and you don't have to have smooth frosting!)


Last night was our last class and we had to bring in a cake already frosted. That is the hardest part, trying to get it smooth and not damage the cake! I make lemon cake with lemon pudding filling (Dennis' favorite!) Dennis wanted to bring it to work, so I tried to make red flowers, but it takes a lot of coloring to get to red, so they still look a little pink!
I was exhausted at last nights class, I fell like I rushed a little. But still like my outcome. Sad I didn't get a picture of Hollie's Happy Birthday cake to Marty, it was so cute, and she did green icing, which really made it pop!
Next week we learn about fondant and gum paste!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Trailer Trash

It's official, we have started to move. Dennis and I have been weighing our options, we were unable to get the house that we truly desired, so we had to keep looking. After much prayer and debate, I finally entertained the idea of a new property that Greg (Dennis' boss) had recently acquired. The initial thought of living in a trailer scared me, thoughts of a nasty trailer park (there maybe nice ones else where, but here in Everett, most are run down and scary, unless of course they are 55+).
I finally got up the courage to check it out, this 'trailer' is really a manufactured home (they already cut the hitch off!) that just put on this lot, it still had that very distinct 70's feel to it, wood paneling, shag carpet and heavy curtains and all! It was still being seamed together the first time I saw it, but it was a huge lot, twice the house that we have now, and the kicker? It's less then half what we were paying at the condo!
I have already seen the look on others faces when we tell them the news.. but I'm getting pretty excited about it now. We started moving the kitchen and bathroom boxes last night, almost everything is done in the inside except for the new carpet. We are able to move everything in but the furniture. It was really nice to organize the kitchen (there are so many more cupboards then I'm used to!)
Burton has been there a few times, and loves, loves the yard, we had a hard time last night trying to get him to leave. There is a very large mean looking pit bull next door that I have a slight fear might eat one of my cats, but I pray they all get along!
The yard (lots of it) is in need of serious help, so if you have any skills or tools you would like to donate, please, please do!!! The door will always be open for family and friends!

So drum roll please.............. here it is!


What would make it better? Well a plastic pink flamingo in the front yard of course!


We are looking forward to embracing the trailer trash life style, coming soon will be our house warming party in the theme of trailer trash bash. Please start preparing your mullets, wife beater tank tops, and curlers in your hair! ( You think I'm joking?)

Welcome to the next step in our lives!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Sun!

We had a fantastic weekend here in Seattle. Dennis and I got to take advantage of it and play in the sun.
Saturday we took Burton to Marymoor Dog Park, we liked it cause we did a nice walk, but Burton could have cared less. He walks right along side of us, hardly smells another dogs butt and is just content walking with us. I hope to take him on a few hikes this summer. He is such a good walking buddy!
Most of the time here, when you have one hot and sunny day, the next is crappy and we all miss out, but his weekend was a nice exception. Both days were over 70 (we are so not use to it!) After church on Sunday we headed to our friends house for a birthday BBQ. Gorgeous day for it, had fun playing with all the kids and seeing their new house. Looking forward to many BBQ's this summer there!
We decided to see what all the fuss is about and check out the Tulip festival that everyone has been blasting pictures on Facebook with. Right as we get in to Mount Vernon we hit traffic.... then more traffic though Mount Vernon, we got confused and stopped in town, no fields, so we hop back in the car or more traffic out to the fields.
It is hot outside, we are getting grumpy, we both hate traffic, pretty sure we are lost, just starting to get on each others nerves. I'm borderline from crossing my arms and screaming at the top of my lungs.. then we make each other laugh. I love that! That is how most of our stressful moments go. We know that the only way to make it better is to laugh, and one of us does something stupid or points out something that we can't help but chuckle at, or even going so far as throwing out a little tickle to cut the tension. I love the tough moments with Dennis, because the way we pull ourselves out of them are so worth it.
We finally arrive, and the first thing Dennis sees is kites, a large kite field, he is in heaven and ready to have fun!
 The first kite we saw, and the sun trying to peek out
 Too bad I don't know photo shop and I can't take that kid out in the background
 The colors were beautiful!
 My Tulip Angel



 Kite time! We ended up buying a little pocket kite (we already have 2), Dennis had to fly something, the wind was picking up, but could have been a little better kite weather
 See, not enough wind!
 I love barns!
 Heheh, Dennis attempted to fly this little baby kite, didn't work!
When we finally decided we had enough tulips, we made the trek home, holy smokes it was horrible! There was traffic everywhere, luckily we took a pretty scenic route and tried to make the best of it. (Should have taken 10 minutes to get out of town, it ended up taking us over an hour!)
There was a huge traffic stop on this corner, then we looked up and saw this swarm of birds, they did the most amazing moves, it was quite beautiful to see.
I had to stop and take this picture, again with my love for barns, and with the mountains in the background, I would love to wake up to this every morning!

Friday, April 20, 2012

Flight Lessons

I wanted to go all out for Dennis' 30th birthday. I sort of thought that it would be our last ho rah before we had kids (didn't work out so well). Dennis was happily surprised with a trip to Mexico, where we relaxed, toured, and got to try new things like scuba diving!
But way before his actual day, I had purchased him introductory flight lessons. He said he would love to learn how to fly, why not try it out? We attempted to use these at least 5 times, but the weather in Washington is a little unpredictable, especially when we started trying in October!
I almost for about it since it has been 7 months, then it appeared! The original place in Arlington closed down, but lucky for us a place in Puyallup was still accepting our certificate (good thing since it was already paid for!)
We finally picked a good weekend, woke up early for our trek way down to Puyallup, only to walk outside to dark gray sky's and an Erie loom of the coming rain. Since we live in this convergence zone, we called and they said it was gorgeous and sunny down South. Phew!!!!
The second we hit highway 167, the skis parted, the rain stopped and there was this bright thing above our heads we were not prepared for! We forgot our sunglasses!
 We pulled in to the flight school and were unprepared for the sight. Mount Rainer was so close and so gorgeous, The clouds continued to move, but mostly they hoovered right over her top, sometimes revealing it, and others just keeping it out of sight.
 We thought Dennis would have to take some lessons in their classroom first, you know the boring book stuff. But were shocked when our instructor took us straight to the plane. We got a young, fun, and lively pilot. I don't think anyone else would have fit us the same.
Dennis was so happy to pose next to the Cessna he would be flying in 10 minutes.
Now that thought scared a touch. I'm not quite sure why I thought I would be able to fly with him. I have been pretty brave lately, and I used to get really sick when flying, but have been such a big girl lately, I thought I can do it! (Well after I ran in to the bathroom and prayed)
Little did I know that mastering the large commercial plane and riding in a tiny 3 seater was much, much different!

 Right before we boarded our plane we were able to watch another plane take off and make a picture perfect moment over the mountains.

 The boys doing the safety walk through.
 Nature letting us have a peek a boo of the top!
 Ready Captain? He looks so cute!!!!
 The plane was so tiny, the boys' shoulders were touching, and neither of them were big!
 Take off was good, pretty smooth, he had Dennis flying from the first moment. I on the other hand, continued to pray! The sight was incredible, we were able to hoover over certain areas to see the gorgeous views from above.
If we flew nice and steady and didn't make any turns, I might have been okay, might.
But this little plane can turn on a dime, bank to the left, boom we are on our side!
Our instructor kept saying how fast Dennis is learning and how impressed he was with him.
 This was the last picture I could get off before our instructor looked back at me and saw me starting to sweat bullets and get really uncomfortable. He asked if I wanted to go back, I barely got a nod out.
Not the first time he saw this because he turned on the air (which meant opening the windshield gaps), that felt fantastic and I almost thought I could handle it. Then we turned around to head back, I could feel the sweat dripping down my back, my head starting to get light headed, and the dreaded tight feeling in my thought. No please don't!!!!
Next thing I know, I'm taking my camera lens out of my camera bag, sitting it on my lap, just in case. Ha, moments later, I'm blowing chunks in my camera bag, in the back seat of the plane as we are heading back. I got so close! The sight was unbearable, at first I thought I was throwing up blood, but then remembered that I had strawberries and blueberries for breakfast, not the prettiest sight to upchuck!
Within moments of throwing up, the heat went away, my throat stopped burning and I pulled myself together. By this point we were descending. I only got one more picture before we landed.
I was extremely embarrassed, I knew he knew, but neither of us said anything. I closed my camera bag (I'm so sorry Hollie, it was the only thing I had, either that or my shirt and then I don't think I would have stopped vomiting.), and ran off the plane to the bathroom to clean up. I tried really, really hard to get the red stains out of the bag, and so far, no such luck.
I cheated Dennis out of some time on his flight, I shouldn't have went up there, what was I thinking? :( I asked if he wanted to do it again, and he said, why have a hobby that you will never be able to enjoy with me? Ahhhh, such a sweet husband!
So I learned a few lessons, just praying won't get you though, you actually have to prepare yourself too. I don't like small planes, I will admire them for the ground and never attempt to enter one again!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Patience

I always hear, Patience is a virtue, it is currently not one of my virtues!
There are seven virtues and each has a vice associated with it;
Chasity: Lust
Temperance: Gluttony
Charity: Greed
Diligence: Sloth
Patience: Wrath
Kindness: Envy
Humility: Pride

I know I'm not perfect, but I completely fail at patience sometimes. The definition of Patience: the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
That is not me right now, I'm complaining, losing my temper, major irritation, and all the like!
I have prayed for patience, and it is not a pretty sight. Don't pray for something that you are not actually sure you want. I have been tested more then I ever thought I could have been over the past year. In the end I truly appreciate the attempt to make me patient, and it has helped alot, but again, still not perfect.
If I turn it just a little and not focus so much on trying to be patient, but instead on the sin associated with it; Wrath, it makes it a little more tangible for me. When I think of wrath I think of anger, hostility, and what I suffer from the most of all those, entitlement, the thought that you deserve something. But truly we don't deserve anything, nothing should be owed to us.
Sometimes we get so focused on the virtue, and not on if we are not practicing the virtue what does that look like. Sometimes we can read a word and say, yes that isn't me, but read the definition, delve in to it, is it something you truly struggle with? I don't want to feel like I'm entitled to anything. Deep down that is my true struggle, to not feel like I'm owed, entitled or deserving of anything.
I will continue to pray for patience, but will also pray to let go of my entitlement issues. I would rather pray for strength to handle what ever God's decision is then to pray for a specific outcome. Pray for others, but not for myself. Instead, pray to be a better person, have more strength, love more, serve others and be content with what God gives me.
This 'house' experience has been a challenge on my patience and self deserving attitude. I want answers, I want conclusions, I want, I want, I want. How selfish is that? In order for us to get what we "want" we have to affect the lives of others. I know my future won't be ideal for us, but I pray that it serves my Lord.
We don't know where we will live and that scares me, through the fear, I will look towards the good that could come of this.
Now to leave you with the funny virtues!




Sunday, April 15, 2012

Spray Paint and Lace

This has been a project! I have been planning our bedroom for awhile, as I never wanted to actually change our current room around, I decided to collect all of the stuff I wanted for the next space and then slowly start on those projects. Well that time is coming, so the projects begin!
Over the summer we became garage sale addicts, what is better than a garage sale? An Estate Sale! I can't wait for summer Estate Sales again! We searched and searched for a set of night stands, and we finally got lucky and found these.
They look good, but not what I wanted, I knew I wanted to play with this clean canvas!
We decided to take advantage of having a deck and nice weather, we also had to learn some spray painting techniques. Oh there were so many mistakes we made, I think we tried to rush it and just plan ole be lazy! First we didn't clean the piece, and instead of sanding we decided to prime. Both mistakes, oh and the biggest one? We forgot to get masks, so after the first night of painting we both went to bed with killer headaches and tasted spray paint. Not a good idea!

After two coats of priming we decided to paint the stands white, as I knew my dresser would be a vibrant color and I wanted the accents to stand out more then the night stands.
The white looked good, but since we used flat (I wanted a older style then glossy), it needed a little umph to make it pop. I figured why not try out a lace technique I found on Pinterest?
 Easier then I thought, just place lace on  top (I didn't use the spray adhesive this time, but will next time, just makes the lace stay flat)
Nice even coat, and leave for 30 minutes to dry.
 Peel off and Viola (sp?) you have pretty lace detail!

I did this on my drawer and the center of the two doors.
 I knew I wanted new handles, the originals were ugly! We found some at Hobby Lobby that I loved, but didn't want to spend over $5 a piece!!! That would be $30+ for new handles, I think I can save that. I found 6 handles at walmart that I could spruce up for 1/3 that cost!
One really awesome hint that I found was to put nails facing up in cardboard to spray them with out having to touch them. The color selection in spray isn't exactly what I desired, so I settled on this blue, but I'm still in search for a different color. Good thing it is really easy to change the color up!
 We found new hinges, but they were $3 a piece, and I would need 8! No thanks, threw a bit of white paint that I had left over and boom done! :)

 Don't mind the mess.. but here it is against the other one I still need to do.
 I like the white, we decided to do it a little thin so you could still see the grain and gray primer underneath. I like the yellow lace, but not crazy about the shade of blue handles.

I wish I could say that this project is done, but unfornetly I still have one more to paint!