61-80

Last night was my first growth group of the session. I signed up for two groups this round, I love groups! Last night was, Me, Myself, and Lies it is a book and DVD study group. We are watching the DVD series for Jennifer Rothschild (here is the book study). After searching through all the amazing groups Eastlake Community Church offers I decided on this one after watching the intro. Ever catch  yourself saying something mean and hurtful in your head about yourself? Your thoughts can shape yourself, this is a practical way to change your thoughts.
I didn't realize how much I needed it until I got there. All the ladies are so nice, I even knew one from my dog group and another cleans my teeth! When we sat down to do our introductions I started to get really nervous, I'm normally not a nervous person, but I caught my self having a mini panic attack. When it was my turn I couldn't talk, like voice shaking, caught in my throat, thought my chest would explode. My mind went blank and I couldnt' even remember how long I had been married! I stumbled and babbled, it was a complete mess. Once I was passed, (thank goodness), I caught myself calling myself names and mentally beating myself up for the horrible speech. That's when I finally stopped and realized, hello girl, that is why you are here!!! Stop it!!!!
I opened my ears, and shut my thoughts and listened to all the other ladies, the sweet girl next to me said she is pregnant and found on Thanksgiving and her due date is the week after mine would have been. I was crushed just a little, as I started to feel pity for myself, 2 more girls down, she explained how they are going through the adoption process. I think that was God's way of warming my heart and giving me hope again. I started to feel a little better. After the video and an ice-breaker, we all shared our prayer requests, something compelled me to speak up. I told the group, I'm not normally a nervous person, and started to have a panic attack during my introduction, I don't think it was because I didn't feel comfortable, I think because I felt vulnerable, I knew that by the end I would be sharing my secrets and confiding in this great group of ladies. I think that is what scared me, so I asked them to pray for comfort as this is really the first time I have been in a room of strangers and I was feeling a little overwhelmed. They were so wonderful and said a beautiful prayer and I know that God put me exactly where I need to be. I'm a little bummed I will miss next weeks group, but I have to admit I am super excited for Scentsy Spring Sprint in Portland (you will hear all about that after I go!)
Okay on to my thankful gifts:

61. feeling a friend's belly and feeling baby kick
62. the quiet of snow fall
63. waking up to white
64. sharing something in common with a friend
65. the sound of wind through the trees
66. watching Burton do his excited dance in the morning
67. steaming hot shower
68. spicy foods
69. the burn after a workout
70. sound of changing gears
71. feeling like a kid again
72. hearing others want to do a mission
73. the right song at the right moment
74. squinting in the sun
75. wood fire places
76. problem solving
77. doing puzzles
78. seeing our gorgeous mountain ranges
79. pink sunset
80. being called Auntie